I have a horrid brother, Tim
I’d really like to smother him
and feed his nasty body to the dog
He flicks his bogies in my hair
he makes me cry and doesn’t care
and once he flushed my head right down the bog
But now I’m gonna pay him back
the best form of defence: attack
and when I’m done he’ll wish that he was dead
I’ll fill his pants with superglue
and hide some dog-muck in his shoe
and then I’ll tell his friends he wets the bed
BUT
Nothing happened as I planned it
for my mum caught me red-handed
and in my panic everything went wrong
Now I’m covered in the superglue
all mixed up with the doggy poo
oh what an icky, yicky, sticky pong!
Do I have to write a moral?
I suppose I really ought
if you do something immoral
just ensure you don’t get caught!
Paul Hughes 2008
