With friends like these… March 17, 2008

I show no kindness to the bee

I curse and chase him daily

for once I tried to cook him tea

and guess how he repaid me 

I found him on my windowsill

he looked so very hungry

I cooked him supper but he still

buzzed angrily and stung me 

I tucked him snugly into bed

he felt no gratitude

my arm was swollen, sore and red

why must he be so rude? 

I’ll trust no bee for quite a while

I’ve found another friend

He’s such a lovely crocodile

and ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! 

The end!

Paul Hughes 2008

Kafkaesque Screams March 6, 2008

I was feeling quite unwell

But I found the strength to tell

My dear doctor that I needed medication

So she looked me in the eye

With a poorly stifled cry

And examined me with open trepidation

She said “you may not know this

but here’s my diagnosis

This is my strangest case in quite a while

You’ve had a transformation

In my consideration

You have turned into a monstrous crocodile”

I retorted “that’s absurd

And I can’t believe a word

For Kafka never wrote a tale so ghoulish”

Then I ate her for my tea

As she cried “oh woe is me

to talk to crocodiles is rather foolish!”

Moral: some books MUST be judged by their covers.

Paul Hughes 2008