The invention of the hot air baaaaaaloon: 1783 AD October 28, 2009

 

The sheep cried “Baa! I’m scared of heights!”
The chicken clucked and squawked with fright
The duck replied “we’ll be alright”
And quacked a cheerful tune:
“Although we’re still ascending
And there’s no use pretending
unless we start descending
We’re sure to reach the moon.”
,
The crowd below cheered “hip hooray!”
to Jo and Jacques Montgolfier.
“Ze French have beaten gravité
With this hot air balloon!
And though it’s very nice to see
a sheep, a hen, a duck float free,
can we fly too? Oh, please say ‘oui!’
We’d like to try it soon.”
,
So, Monsieur Jo Montgolfier
declared “These beasts have shown the way!
It seems quite safe, and so I say
we’ll send a man up soon!”
Men flew second, sheep were first
But wait, there’s more, and even worse:
a monkey orbited The Earth
before we reached the moon.
,
Paul Hughes, 2009

Job Scare September 18, 2008

 

Helen Hen was terrified,

as frightened as can be.

Tom Turkey worked at Pizza Hut.

She worked at KFC.

 

Paul Hughes 2008

Chicken Boy March 8, 2008

There was no prior warning

but one cold winter’s morning

I was covered in a thousand itchy spots

I called mum in to tell her

she said “it’s varicella

but its common name is simply chickenpox”

as she stood beside my bed

feathers sprouted from my head

and I clucked and squawked whilst feeling rather weak

So I asked her for some grain

when I felt an awful pain

as my mouth and nose transformed into a beak

The doctor could do nothing

(but recommended stuffing)

and I’ll tell you now what upsets me the most

Even though I lay nice eggs

mummy grabbed me by the legs

and is plucking me for Sunday evening’s roast!