The car is in the sitting room,
the sofa’s on the street.
She wears her slippers on her hands,
her gloves upon her feet.
You think that’s bad? This evening
she called “it’s tea-time Kate!”
My chips are in the toilet.
And what’s that on my plate?
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Alice Hughes (with help from Daddy) 2011
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Aliceis 6 and wrote most of this. I just tidied it a little. Of course, she’s entirely to blame for the toilet humour element…
Mumble Bee, speak clearly!
I can’t hear a word you’re saying.
Careful, silly Stumble Bee
and don’t fall over, playing!
Fumble Bee, just put it down!
“It’s fine, Miss Bumble!” SMASH!
Tumble Bee, get down from there!
“It’s cool Miss Bumble!” CRASH!
What a mess, young Jumble Bee!
It’s time to clear away!
Stop that whining Grumble Bee!
You’re grumpier each day.
Good work, little Humble Bee!
Yes, three and two makes five!
If only all the other bees
would learn how to BEHIVE!
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Paul Hughes 2011
Crab-Catcher Ned is no more, he is dead.
They found him pan-fried in his skillet.
And Whaler-man Bill seemed quite healthy until
I thought “I could murder a fillet!”
Since time immemorial folk piscatorial
dined on ancestors of mine.
And that’s why I killed him, I gutted and grilled him.
He tasted so good with some wine!
You hook us, mistreat us, you bake, fry and eat us
but now I am coming for YOU!
I’ll sink all your ships and eat sailors with chips,
with ketchup and tartare sauce too!
So go tell your skipper my name: “Jack the Kipper!”
Go tell him I’m coming to meet him!
Eel whale and yelp, yes eel beg Cod for kelp
But no pun can help him, I’ll EAT HIM!
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Paul Hughes 2011
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