Fowl Language November 23, 2010

 

 

Will you help me, Mother Duck? I’d really like to know

a little of your language. Would you take the time to show

a human how to speak the words which ducks use every day?

So let’s begin this minute, would you tell me how you say:

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“It’s kind of you to feed me, dear. I like this whole-grain bread,

but sometimes I would love to eat some coco-pops instead.”

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“QUACK”

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“The river-water chills my legs. I scrape my toes on rocks.

Oh, how I wish I had a pair of knee-high woolly socks!”

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“QUACK”

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“It’s Spring again and I must build my brood a cosy nest,

a place where they can snuggle – up and take a well-earned rest.”

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“QUACK”

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Thanks for helping, Mother Duck, you’re such a clever bird!

How many creatures say so much by using just one word?

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Paul Hughes 2010

An Eternal Spring November 21, 2010

 

“Heaven’s like eternal Spring,” said Uncle John.

The others nodded gravely,

painting pallid smiles on unwilling canvasses.

“You have your friends around you

and everyone you’ve loved.

She’ll be with Grandad now,

as happy as she ever was in life.”

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I wondered why, if this was true,

there was an air of tearful gloom

within the room and why they spoke

as if a bunch of fading blooms

which sensed the nearing autumn frosts,

which felt their Summers ending.

It was a conspiracy of comfort.

They formed in trembling, adult, ranks

to shield me from their fear,

levelling their useless spears at Death.

I couldn’t, didn’t dare to smash

the phalanx of their caring words.

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So I went, alone, up to my room

to cry for the woman we’d buried

that cold December’s morning,

and wove for her a warming shroud

of memories to keep her safe.

Wherever she was just then,

whatever the truth might be,

I’d always keep her love as fresh

as unfurling new blossom.

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Paul Hughes 2010

Amelia the Pirate November 19, 2010

I

catch

the scent,

of briny breath,

I gaze upon the blue;

as once did Captain Black-

beard with his famous pirate

crew. One day I’ll sail the ocean’s

depths and travel far abroad. The world

will dread “Amelia, the fearless Pirate Lord!”

I’ll

rob

the Spanish galleons and seize their chests of gold. I’ll make their

captains walk the plank, just like in days of old. A pirate’s life’s

the life for me, there’s only one small catch: I think I’ll have

to lose an eye and wear a pirate’s patch! I’d also need a

wooden leg, gold teeth, an iron hook! Perhaps I’ll stay

at home instead and read a pirate book!

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Paul Hughes 2010

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www.pictures-vector.com/. ../000037835631

 

Haunted! November 16, 2010

They make me groan and scream with fright.

I rattle my chains in fear.

This place is haunted every night.

The monsters, they draw near.

They make me turn as white as a sheet

but listen, here’s the twist:

my mummy ghost will just repeat

that “people don’t exist!”

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Paul Hughes 2010

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Picture: http://www.clipartheaven.com/

 

Paradise Lost, Paradise Found. November 15, 2010

 

Come and sit close for I think there’s a ghost

in my head, put your cheek next to mine.

Are my ears ringing or can you hear singing

instead, like a faint little whine?

You hear it? I’m glad, though the tune’s very sad.

Let’s try to hear all of the words!

Her voice is so weak that it’s barely a squeak,

as if from the tiniest bird.

.

“Once there were swarms of us, millions, more

of us, Now I’m alone, I’m the last.

Our home was a paradise, wonderful, very nice.

How things can change, death comes fast!

We’d spend every day in the blond-grass and sway

to the beat, to the tune of a drum.

It comes from the ground and relentlessly pounds,

with a ‘boom’ and a ‘bam’ and a ‘bom!’

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My husband and brood feasted freely on food

which lay underneath the white earth.

We lived, loved and fed but today they lie dead.

Who poisoned the land of my birth?

I just can’t believe it! My world, I must leave it.

I’ll pack up my things and leave home.

It’s hard for a louse to up-sticks and move house!

Still harder to do it alone.”

.

Is that really it, just a song from a nit?

I thought I was going insane.

Thank goodness they’re dead and she’s leaving my head!

I won’t hear her singing again.

So, when I get home I can toss out my comb

and throw out my head-louse shampoo!

But why are you scratching? Oh dear, nits are catching.

She’s left me and moved in with YOU!

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Paul Hughes 2010

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picture: http://adoubtersramblings.wordpress.com/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why do fish swim in schools? November 13, 2010

 

Our Harry is a halibut,

as curious as can be.

He searched for all the answers to

the questions of the sea:

of how the dogfish lost his bark

and why the oyster sings,

of how the lobster grew his claws

and flying fish their wings.

He wondered why the seahorse neighs

but never wins a race,

if tiger-sharks and catfish miaow

and how to talk to plaice.

He asked so very many things

King Neptune made a rule,

that every little halibut

would have to go to school!

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Paul Hughes

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photo: http://pages.cs.wisc.edu/~wenger/images/bonaire2k/

 

 

 

 

 

My Scary, Hairy, Friend November 10, 2010

I made a brand new friend today.

He doesn’t talk, he doesn’t play.

I think he’ll simply run away if I don’t hold him tight.

He’s tiny but he’s kinda tough

and just a sight of him’s enough

to run off bully boy Jack Clough, he gave him quite a fright!

He keeps me from a brutal beating,

surfs the web when he’s not eating,

sleeps in silk, keeps flies retreating, just like bully Jack did.

I think it’s time to set him free.

I hope he’ll choose to stay with me.

He’s scary, but a friend to me: my bodyguard arachnid!

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Paul Hughes 2010

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Photo: http://www.ziggityzoom.com/print.php?activity=343

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To! November 8, 2010

 

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep

and so she can’t come round for tea.

A dwarf told me, weeping, that Snow White was sleeping.

“A poisonous apple, you see!?”

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Gretel, sweet petal, ate half of a wall.

It made her so terribly sick.

Collapsing, she balled “I don’t feel well at all!

I thought they were gingerbread bricks!”

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I think, in the end, that Rapunzel’s no friend.

It’s obvious she doesn’t care.

It’s simply no use, she just gave the excuse

that she’s washing and drying her hair.

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Poor Cinderella ran off with her fella,

I haven’t heard word of her since.

That girl Sleeping Beauty has married some cutie,

I hear he’s a Duke, or a Prince.

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There’s no point in lying or crying, denying

my party’s a wash out, it’s wrecked.

But if you depend on a fairytale friend

I guess it’s just what you’d expect.

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Paul Hughes 2010

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Photo: http://www.thefairyshop.co.nz/data/media/images/Party%20Images/Sophi%20Sue.jpg

My Imaginary Friend November 6, 2010

 

Flabby cabbage, sulking greyly

in the gravy, left uneaten.

Mother, beaten, said that Tom

had been and gone and eaten his.

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Did you really, Tom?

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Even though she never sees him

still she’ll please him, feed and clean him,

talking, smiling, of a boy who’s

always here but never there.

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You’re a good boy, Tom!

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When things happen, Tom’s a “good” boy,

“never could” boy, “isn’t there!”

Shouldn’t blame him, “shame on” me!

Does she believe in Tom or not?

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Say you did it, Tom!

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Paul Hughes 2010

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photo: http://www.thenewmanofaction.com/wp-content/imaginary_friend.jpg

 

Baron Arthur Palmerston November 4, 2010

 

Baron Arthur Palmerston of Sedgely-Under-Lyme

used his wealth to bribe his way through school.

It didn’t matter what he did, however grave the crime

he thought he could afford to break the rules.

A pin on Mr Tuggey’s chair, blue dye in Mrs Lambert’s hair,

he bought the Head a leather chair and so escaped detention.

He did no work in History, in Music, Art or Geography.

He knew the Head would set him free, so just paid no attention.

We grew to be the best of friends, quite sure our luck would never end,

his money always made amends. The Head grew rich and fat.

We bought him houses, limousines, good caviar and tangerines,

the nicest clothes he’d ever seen, gold collars for his cat.

When trouble came we’d simply flash enormous quantities of cash.

The Head would take it all and dash to save us from the staff.

Our teachers tried to make us pay but we’d just grin at them and say

“get out, get lost, just go away, you fools! You make us laugh.”

But all too soon we found we’d spent poor Baron Arthur’s final cent.

He put his mansion up for rent, his bank account was cleared.

The Head had taken all he had, our teachers seemed unkindly glad.

They wrote detention slips like mad, they gave us twenty years!

Baron Arthur found his health was worsened by his loss of wealth.

He only ever blamed himself, “my actions made me sick!

If only I had taken time to learn to add and multiply.

Do listen to your teachers, try, and learn arithmetic!”

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Paul Hughes 2010

Why do I have to listen to this? November 3, 2010

Tim won’t speak to Tom

and Tom won’t talk to Tim.

Dom won’t speak to either

and he’s fallen out with Kim.

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Jim and John just don’t get on

and Jen and Jan just fight.

Jane insists that Jen is wrong

but Jean says Jen is right.

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Bill and Ken call Jill and Ben

the most revolting names,

but tell me, time and time again,

they’re not the ones to blame.

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“I wish you’d all grow up a bit!”

I tell them, “can’t you see?

I’ve really had enough of it!

So, please fall out with ME!”

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Paul Hughes 2010

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illustration: http://newsmomsneed.marchofdimes.com/?tag=children-fighting

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just a friend? November 3, 2010

 

Girls are weird          and even though

they’re sometimes   quite attractive, being

friends with them just isn’t right. One I know,

she talks so much, her mouth is hyperactive, never

stopping, morning, noon or night. She tries to hold

my hand when we meet up for lunch and break,

calls me cute and likes my stupid sister. Now

and then I ask myself how much my pride

can take. But when she isn’t there I

find I miss her. I know that she’s

a girl and I’m a boy, but in the

end, I think I really like

her, but, I swear, as

just a friend!

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Paul Hughes 2010

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Illustration: http://www.cdkenterprises.com/coloring/Valentines/GirlBoy3.gif