When Granny Won Olympic Gold (2)

The Winter Olympics: two thousand and six,

my granny set off for Turin.

She packed up her Zimmer frame, dentures and sticks,

some knitting and plenty of gin.

The bobsleigh was first, so she sat by the track,

when some silly man jabbed his knee in her back.

Granny hissed, crossly, “you terrible fool!”

and in the excitement her needles and wool

slipped off her lap and rolled under the bench,

gathering speed ‘til they fell in the trench.

.

Gran watched in horror, “my knitting! Good Lord!”

By now the event had begun.

A bobsleigh whizzed by and my gran leaped aboard

“please follow that wool, everyone!”

They sped down the hill at a frightening pace,

they rescued Gran’s wool and came first in the race.

Gran thanked her team-mates “itth been tho mucth fun,

but pleathe help me look for my teeth everyone!”

They never did find where her gnashers had rolled,

so melted her medal, for dentures of GOLD!

.

Paul Hughes 2010