Jake the Cake's Poetry for Children

Paul Hughes' poetry and verse for anyone with imagination

Peter Pitta, Half Dead Bread. July 24, 2010

Filed under: bread,illness — Paul Hughes @ 10:18 pm
Tags: ,

Peter Pitta belched and burped,

grunted, snorted, screeched and slurped

like something from a stable.

He told the most disgusting jokes

but suddenly began to choke,

collapsing on the table.

I called for help, a doctor came

and said “his manners are to blame!”

I asked him “is he dead?”

The doctor shook his head and sighed,

“Not quite, but though he hasn’t died

he’s certainly ill bread!”

.

Paul Hughes 2010

.

.

An example of a poem An example of a poem written to suit what struck me as a funny pun – the ill bread / bred thing…

 

Acrostic July 24, 2010

Filed under: sport — Paul Hughes @ 12:00 am
Tags: , , ,


Right feet wedged against the blocks,

Eager limbs met focussed brains.

Athletes faced their foes, the clock,

Deafened by the crowd’s acclaim.

Young, we hoped to prove our strength,

.

Smashing records, seeking fame.

Each would go to any length,

Thrusting forth to stake our claim.

.

GO!” cried Miss. I ran, but soon,

Off it fell. My Egg! Damn spoon!

.

!

.

.

Paul Hughes 2010

.

.

Hmm, more difficult than I thought, this acrostic business…

 

Kim the Cow and Space Cat July 15, 2010

Filed under: animals,cat,cow,space — Paul Hughes @ 10:22 am
Tags: , , ,

Once on Daisy Dairy Farm, there lived a cow called Kim.

Kim was her farmer’s favourite and she was fond of him.

She was the greatest milk cow the world had ever seen.

           Her milk was rich and silky, sweet and full of cream.

.

One night Kim was woken, by red and yellow lights.

At first they hovered low, but then shot into the night.

 Her udder was quite empty, Kim was shocked and shaken.

“Oh!” she cried, “What’s going on? My milk! It’s all been taken.”

.

“The Farmer won’t be happy, if milk is being stolen.

I’ll catch that nasty thief, I’ll give him such a scolding!”

So that night she stayed awake and saw, beyond the moon,

coloured lights a twinkling. She mooed “He’ll be here soon.”

.

She didn’t have to wait long, the lights were moving fast.

They landed by the cow-sheds, scorching all the grass.

It was a flying saucer, bright silver, round and flat;

and when the door sprang open, Kim saw a pussy cat!

.

Kim lay still and closed her eyes, “he’ll think I’m fast asleep.”

The thief crept by the piggies, the chickens and the sheep.

He tip-toed past the turkey, the donkey and the foal;

but then he fell into Kim’s’s trap: a deep and dirty hole.

.

Kim looked at the Space Cat and saw his purple eyes.

His fur was pink and curly. Imagine her surprise

when she heard that Space Cat could speak in fluent cow.

He asked her quite politely “would you release me now?”

.

Kim said “No, you stole my milk. You naughty, wicked thief!

You really ought to be ashamed. Your crime’s beyond belief.”

“I had no choice.” cried Space Cat. “My family is cursed.

“Space Dogs dammed the Milky Way, we Space Cats die of thirst.”

.

Tears welled up in Kim’s brown eyes, she lowered down her tail.

“Climb up, Cat! We’ll beat the dogs. Together we can’t fail.”

“You mean you’ll help?” asked Space Cat, “to save my family?”

“Yes!” mooed Kim. “We like to help! We’ll sort things out. You’ll see!”

.

Kim packed up her rucksack and called her farmyard friends;

“grab your things, we’re blasting off, this misery must end!”

Space Cat revved the engines and turned his headlights on.

The animals all climbed aboard and WHOOSH the ship was gone.

.

The pigs soon moaned, “we’re hungry! We need to eat and soon.”

And so they stopped for breakfast, a picnic on the moon.

The Moon Mice served as waiters; “Be seated, if you please!

Our local speciality is bread and lunar cheese.”

.

Stomachs full, they blasted off and travelled through the day,

past Mercury and Jupiter, towards the Milky Way.

They almost hit an asteroid, but made it safe and sound.

They reached the Space Cat’s planet, and landed on the ground.

                                                           .

“Milk once ran in rivers,” said Space Cat, teary-eyed.

“Then the Space Dogs came and now the river beds run dry.

They built a dam to trap the milk. Now they keep it all.”

“Never fear!” said Kim, “we’re here. We’ll knock away that wall!”

.

The farmyard crew worked as a team to build a wooden ram,

tipped with lead to batter down the Space Dogs’ horrid dam.

They bashed against the brickwork, they smashed against the stone,

but suddenly they realised, they were not alone.

..

Space Dogs growled and bared their teeth, surrounding Kim and crew.

Kim cried “charge!” The pigs attacked, the ducks and goats did too.

The Space Dogs trembled, turned and ran. They knew they couldn’t win.

“Well done everyone!” said Kim. Space Cat purred and grinned.

.

Then they battered down the dam, the milk flowed fast and free.

“Yay!” cheered Space Cat. “Thanks a lot! Let’s all go home for tea!”

Mrs Space Cat baked a cake and poured some lemonade.

They raised their glasses, “here’s a toast, to all the friends we’ve made!”

.

Space Cat flew Kim back to earth, with all her farmyard crew.

They promised that they’d keep in touch, as good friends always do.

And every single night time, as Kim gets into bed,

she wonders if a bright pink cat is flying overhead.

.

Paul Hughes 2010

.

.

Picture: http://www.perrolocoproductions.com/ilustraciones/space_cow.jpg

 

Step Away From The Spoon! July 10, 2010

Filed under: chicken,race,sport — Paul Hughes @ 10:32 pm
Tags: , ,

She aint so finger-lickin’

that cotton pickin’ chicken,

she gave me such a kickin’

and pecked off half my face.

.

You can count upon it,

I wish I hadn’t done it.

She warned me but I won it.

I ran the  egg / spoon race!

.

Paul Hughes 2010

.

.

picture: Chris Boyd

http://chrisboyd-characterdesign.blogspot.com/2009/07/angry-chicken.html

 

Chasing Rainbows July 10, 2010

Filed under: bubble — Paul Hughes @ 8:30 pm
Tags: ,

I watched you chasing bubbles,

shrieking as the rainbows danced,

if only for an instant,

upon your outstretched hand.

And I wished the adult you,

the woman still to come,

would know that joy again.

For any who can capture that,

that pure sparkle of delight,

for even just a moment,

is luckier than most.

And if you pass through life

knowing you have helped others

catch bubbles for themselves,

and if some have tried their best for you,

you are blessed.

.

Paul Hughes 2010

 

When Granny Won Olympic Gold (2) July 4, 2010

Filed under: olympics,sport — Paul Hughes @ 7:35 am
Tags: ,

The Winter Olympics: two thousand and six,

my granny set off for Turin.

She packed up her Zimmer frame, dentures and sticks,

some knitting and plenty of gin.

The bobsleigh was first, so she sat by the track,

when some silly man jabbed his knee in her back.

Granny hissed, crossly, “you terrible fool!”

and in the excitement her needles and wool

slipped off her lap and rolled under the bench,

gathering speed ‘til they fell in the trench.

.

Gran watched in horror, “my knitting! Good Lord!”

By now the event had begun.

A bobsleigh whizzed by and my gran leaped aboard

“please follow that wool, everyone!”

They sped down the hill at a frightening pace,

they rescued Gran’s wool and came first in the race.

Gran thanked her team-mates “itth been tho mucth fun,

but pleathe help me look for my teeth everyone!”

They never did find where her gnashers had rolled,

so melted her medal, for dentures of GOLD!

.

Paul Hughes 2010

 

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.