Uncle Ted November 3, 2009

 

That funny smell is Uncle Ted,

for though he’s been a long time dead,

we didn’t bury him, instead,

we left him in his chair.

And though we dust him twice a day,

to keep the rats and flies away,

the Health and Safety people say

“he can’t keep sitting there!”

.

I like to watch him turning green,

but feel quite sad for Auntie Jean.

She does her best to keep him clean.

She scrapes away the mould.

And when, each night, she grabs his head

to drag his body up to bed,

she huffs and puffs and turns bright red,

for she is getting old.

.

One day Aunt Jean will wake up dead.

We’ll leave her resting in her bed,

Right next to poor old Uncle Ted,

their house, a mausoleum.

And I will make a thousand pounds

by selling hotdogs in the grounds,

when people come from all around

and pay me cash to see ‘em.

.

Paul Hughes, 2009